A Short Bio
My name is Jessica and I am an artist, writer, and musician. I have a B.A. in Art and Art History, and a "Me-hD" in natural healing. I was born and raised in the US, and in my 20's, started traveling and living for several years in Romania and Hungary, where I married a Transylvanian (who claims he's not a vampire, but I have my suspicions). We moved back to the US, where I fell ill with several debilitating diseases and chronic conditions. Joyclam Studio was created in a desperate attempt to hang onto my deteriorating self and my life through personal expression. Now in remission after 10 years, I am a dual resident of Budapest and Vienna, trying to rebuild a life of passion, expression, and supportive societies. I love art, music, world cultures, self-healing, spiritual exploration, and have a big crush on cognitive neuroscience.
This website is my pearl, my art, and my offering, fully designed, photographed, written, and maintained by yours truly.
Happy as a Clam
The name "Joyclam" comes from an actual typo that appeared in a church bulletin when I was a baby. It became an occasional nickname growing up, and eventually turned into a fitting artistic identity.
"They who dive in the sea of affliction bring up rare pearls." - Charles Spurgeon.
Natural pearls are formed when a bivalved mollusk, like a clam, launches a defense mechanism against a foreign substance. It envelops the irritant with layers of nacre, creating a beautiful pearl from what was once a dangerous invader.
Like a clam, my days are infiltrated with misfortunes and irritants. Over time, Love - call it God, Grace, Spirit, Source, or Truth - envelops my circumstances like nacre, and layers of experience and refinement turn them into pearls of joy, hope, and faith.
Joyclam is a strand of rare pearls, strung together on the thread of my life, dug from the seas of affliction.
Mother-of-Pearl
“How could you reach the pearl by only looking at the sea? If you seek the pearl, be a diver..." -Rumi
In 2015, after repatriating to the US from Europe, I began weaning off of pharmaceutical antidepressants after 16 years of SNRI/SSRI use for "hereditary chemical imbalance," with severe discontinuation / withdrawal effects. Then in 2016, I found myself infected with Lyme disease, Babesia, and Bartonella from an undetected tick bite. These infections were slow to respond to treatment, leaving me with debilitating symptoms, reduced physical and mental capacity, and bringing my life to a screeching halt. After the failure of Western medicine and worsening anxiety and panic, I dove into the sea of self-healing, Chinese Medicine, and nutrition. By 2019 I realized not only did chronic illness come with PTSD that needed to be treated, but the original "clinical depression" and chronic fatigue were themselves manifestations of C-PTSD, childhood and religious trauma, and adjustment disorder from immigrating. 2020 brought the challenge and the opportunity of learning to heal my nervous system (and the immune system along with it) and reinvent myself during a pandemic. Thankfully this mess also brought frequent encounters with grace, a deeper (and deconstructed) relationship with God, and a whole new relationship with my Self. By 2022, I was declared in remission from tick-borne diseases and off all medications, and began a slow crawl toward reintegrating life off the couch. I have returned to my European soul, and my roots of art, music, and writing, letting it flow through pain and joy, fear and hope, love and sorrow, rather than be blocked by it. Always a work in progress.